People assume my job as a therapist is to hand out advice. I do, occasionally, but usually I do not. Instead, I try to help people find their own solutions, because the answer a man arrives at himself sticks far better than the one handed to him. And one of the first places I send them is right back to their own friends, family, and mentors.
The People Who Already Know You
That is not because your cousin or your uncle or your parents know exactly what you should do with your life. It is because they know you, and they know your circumstances well. They see things about you that you cannot see for yourself from the inside, and they know things about your situation that a therapist meeting you for an hour a week never could. There is so much we do that we have no real insight into, and the people closest to us often have a clearer view of our patterns than we do.
Just tonight I hit a wall with my youngest. He turns two in a few days, and he is having tantrums and acting out in ways that are surprisingly aggressive. Out of six kids I have raised, he is the only one who has been like this, and I realized I need some instruction and reminders about parenting toddlers. Six kids in, and I still do not have it all figured out.
Going to the Books Is Not Weakness
So what do I do? I go to the books. I go to the internet. I ask people who have already done it and done it well. That is not weakness. That is good practice. It is simply smart to lean on the wisdom of the people already in your circle to help you see what you are missing on your own.
So ask yourself, and then ask others you genuinely trust because of their proven track record, what you should be doing. Then take those opinions seriously, and round them out with books, podcasts, videos, and other solid sources of knowledge. You do not have to figure it all out alone. The wisdom you need is almost always closer than you think.