I am not having a great day. Honestly, I am exhausted and wondering if I even want to keep carrying on. It feels heavy. Life is hard, and there are things outside my control that bother me, and I do not like that one bit. I am telling you the real version here, not the coach version.
Five Words From My Wife
So I texted my wife, who was slammed and could not really talk, and she wrote back five words. We need you. Be strong. I love you. It landed. It gave me some belief in myself on a day my own had completely vanished. Sometimes that is all it takes, one person reminding you that you matter when you have forgotten it yourself.
And then I remembered yesterday. Yesterday I was feeling good, taking selfies I am too embarrassed to post, making plans with colleagues who are becoming partners on an important new project. I remembered a great meeting with my intern where we finished her quarterly report and traded laughs. I remembered clients who told me I had made all the difference in their world these past months. I remembered my kids this morning refusing to let me leave without a hug.
Nothing Changed but My Emotion
And it hit me square in the chest. Nothing has actually changed today. My life is basically identical to what it was yesterday. The only thing different in this moment is my emotion. That is it. The facts held steady. The feeling moved, and it dragged my whole outlook down with it. I try to help my clients hold exactly that perspective, and today I needed to take my own medicine.
I have been here before. I will probably be here again. And I will keep on keeping on, because when I take the time to actually count my blessings, the tension and the darkness lift. My life is a miracle. My birth was a miracle. The steady rhythm of my heartbeat, my unique fingerprints, my vision, more magnificent than any technology on earth. I am literally speaking into a machine that turns my voice into text and bounces it off a satellite. Life is so good, and there is plenty worth focusing on. I notice that the very moment I do, I start to feel better.