I am thankful for myself. I know how that sounds. But stay with me, because this is one of the most important things I have learned in forty-five years of living, and it took most of those years to figure out.
Of course there are people I love and cherish and feel deep gratitude for. That part comes easy for most of us. The hard part, the one that barely gets mentioned in any conversation about gratitude, is being genuinely thankful for yourself. Not in a self-congratulating, better-than-everyone way. In the quiet, honest way of a man who has finally made peace with who he is.
I have been betrayed. I have been abused. I have been taken advantage of, lied to, and treated unjustly in relationships, legal situations, jobs, friendships, and business dealings. I have had my share of enemies and my share of people who were content to watch me fail. And through most of that, the person who kept showing up for me was me. Not perfectly. Not always gracefully. But consistently.
Nobody Knows You Like You Do
When I was in pain, it was usually me walking it off and keeping myself moving. When I was on the ledge, it was me talking myself back. No one else has been there for every single one of those moments. No one else has the complete file on this man, every low and every comeback, every mistake and every correction. That level of continuity deserves some acknowledgment.
Self-acceptance is not the same as settling. I am not saying you look at your faults and shrug. I am saying you look at the whole picture, the failures alongside the resilience, the damage alongside the determination, and you decide that this person is worth caring about. Worth rooting for. Worth forgiving.
That took me way too long to find. I spent decades being harsher on myself than I would ever be on another person. Holding myself to a standard that shifted every time I got close to meeting it. Punishing myself for things I would have forgiven in a friend without a second thought. That is not discipline. That is self-destruction dressed up as high standards.
Being Your Own Best Friend Is Not Weakness
Self-worth, one of the deepest themes in the work I do with men, is not something anyone else can give you. It is not something you earn by accumulating achievements or approval. It is something you decide, from the inside out, about your own inherent value as a person.
I am proud of who I am. Not because I have done everything right, but because I have not given up on myself. I kept getting up. I kept trying. I kept choosing to believe that the man I am capable of being was worth the work of becoming him. That belief has made all the difference.
Be the person who respects you the most. Be your own loving parent. Be your own best friend. Say to yourself the things you wish someone had said to you earlier. You have been waking yourself up every day and carrying the whole weight of your interior life. That is worth something. Acknowledge it. You earned it.