I am a firm believer in the power of the twelve steps. Yes, they come from programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. But here is what most people miss. You do not have to be an addict to benefit from them. The wisdom inside them is human, not just clinical.
Notice What They Don't Say
Here is what you will notice if you actually read them. Nowhere do they say collect every injustice that has ever happened to you and assign blame to the people who hurt you. That road leads nowhere, and most of us have driven it for years. Instead, the entire focus is on yourself. Admitting your own wrongs. Making amends. Humbling yourself enough to recognize you cannot do it alone. And trusting that a higher power, however you understand that, can heal you.
I am in recovery myself, and I have used these steps, both inside and outside of formal twelve step programs, to work on my own stuff. So I am not handing you theory from a textbook. I am telling you what has actually worked in my own life, on my hardest days.
You Have to Set the Ledger Down
Whatever you are dealing with, if your life feels like a total mess right now, consider taking these steps. I know firsthand the power that flows out of genuine humility. But I will be straight with you. That healing will not come while you are still keeping score, still gathering up all the garbage other people have handed you and cataloging it. You have to set the ledger down. You cannot climb while both hands are full of other people's debts.
There is almost nothing more effective at carrying people through the hardest challenges a human being can face. Whatever your battle is, addiction or not, I believe these steps can help you too. And if you want help working through them, reach out. People can change. I have watched it happen thousands of times in my office, and I have lived it myself.