Music — Feeling Is Healing

by | Dec 31, 2018

When we let ourselves FEEL, even the hard stuff, sometimes we wanna run from it. But in my 20 years of helping people heal and 43 years of musical self-medicating, myself, I can tell you, feeling is healing and avoiding is bondage.

I always recommend that people play the sad music when they’re sad, and the angry stuff when they’re pissed off because so often feelings are intense and we try to avoid their impact. Are you avoiding the dark stuff? The stuff that makes you distracted at work. That’s bullshit and it won’t work in the long run, my friend.

Some people feel it instead, and it works exceptionally well.

Don’t be afraid to feel what’s in there: fear, worry, sadness, loneliness. Because it will actually allow you to consciously dissipate it.

Music is just one awesome way to caramelize all that beautiful healing.

It feels SO good to be validated. Music can do that, for every kind of feeling, and in a way that YOU control. You’re not having to wait for the magic persona to give you that. You’re just an old (or new) playlist away. Whatever you’re harboring in your dungeon of despair, there’s an escape hatch with some weirdo band’s name on the door.

Every heard of J Roddy Walston and the Business? Volbeat? Explosions in the Sky? Bears Den? Kings of Leon? I’ll share some of my stuff this next week on my Facebook page where they let you link songs like grown-up social media should.

And the good news is that music bonds people. Music can heal your relationship, or at least get you back in a space of emotional exposure and set the mood for attachment which builds intimacy. It is probably already part of your story, but maybe an abandoned method of connection to self, to feelings, even to your person.

My office is a 45 second drive from my office so its never even worth turning something on. I suppose in my newest ambition, I will have more time now as I take the 15 minutes to walk to work in 2019. That’s like 4 jams. There and back.

Music bonds people. If you feel as deserted as the picture above, and you *happen to share emotional taste in music with someone cool, it can quickly become intimate, whether it’s your homies or homegirls or the person AT home. Sensory disconnection precedes almost any separation. In 90% of the cases, I’d say, anyway. Music is a sensory bonding agent stronger than fiberglass resin.

Turn on your jams. The ones you both feel.

So people that are hurting, particularly those hurting from empty love relationships, often fill the sensory voids with stuff like food, drugs and alcohol, porn, and all kinds of bad shit. Music on the other hand, is a healthy way to simultaneously numb and heighten all that intensity. And it freaking heals you.

What are you listening to? Since Instagram can’t catch up to 2018/19 and allow links, just post the song name and artist. I need some new stuff. Share it with me here and I’ll post some stuff on my FB page this week that is healing me by letting me feel what’s deep down in there these days.

(I realize I am a terrible writer. I need an editor if you know someone.)

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